What a brave son or daughter of a bitch that seafaring terrapin was! That sense of Masada or Jonestown inspired commitment to getting the story out is apparently what has failed to motivate the liberal media thus far to do anything but the sort of dumb shit the liberal media has done since it fomented the Spanish American War.
It isn't called yellow journalism for nothing people. Trickle down economics works much the same way and smells similar.
Am I suspicious that someone connected with the US Coast Guard named Paul Schultz (who may or may not be related, however distantly, to curmudgeonly Peanuts creator, Charles), found a digital camera in a waterproof case on a beach in Key West, Florida, where oil and tar balls from the unfortunate and ultimately unavoidable Deepwater Event Horizon incident have not yet started to congregate in great numbers?
Of course not. I am not an idiot. I do not vote. I don't give a shit about turtles taking videos, although the idea that other species also off themselves is something I find intriguing.
If you, gentle reader, have committed suicide, I entreat you to share your reasons by posting a comment that I can mock, as is my wont. Any of you who are mulling the options for offing yourselves, I suggest you consider a clean pair of shorts before embarking on the final journey, although people will still laugh about your shit. I know I will.
The story that inspired this nasty-ass post was about how a guy in Florida found a camera that contained a video on its memory card after being lost in Aruba, about 1,800 miles from Key West and he posted it on You Tube, where it is making millions of dollars for Google through a complex economic formula that you are too fucking stupid to even consider. Believe me. On not. It doesn't matter to me, assholes.
According to several of the stories I have read, the camera was caught in the Loop Current, which is not yet catching any of the oil that isn't leaking into the Gulf of Mexico as the result of a botched civilization, a dumb cunt, gone in the teeth, as somebody with some taste might have written in a fancy script on a sheet of paper and then burned.
Now that the turtle is dead, I hope someone is making TV series about it.
Aren't you?