Back in the day, I did a piece for Cheri under the righteous name of Little Oral Annie that implicated C. Everett Koop in the promotion of Nancy's Secret Head Sauce.
Never got published, not even in the so-called alternative press. The liberals were the most offended by my suggestion that Reagan's wife had a secret that led to her reputation as the best Capitol knob chomper since Abigail Adams. Conservatives don't read my shit. They have more pressing matters to attend to, such as building new prisons to house people like me.
I wouldn't mind freelancing for Larry Flynt, ghost-writing an advice column on Weiner's Penology. Somebody put their people in touch with my people.