Having been bored and appraised in Oregon for nearly 30 years, I am no longer amazed by the stupidity that abounds here, from the most ignorant, nee innocent, child through to the most powerful idiots in the private and public sector.
This is a state that proudly displays its intellectual and philosophical ripe red rump more often than a horny and boisterously belliigerent baboon.
This is the state where an innocent Mixtec Indian could not be released from prison because he was originally convicted during a fair trail.
In this imaginary state, Norm Frink established his landmark principle of innocence and guilt during the infamous Symbionese Liberation Skate Team prosecution of Tonya The Hammer Harding when he pronounced that a defendant is presumed innocent until charged.
We are the proud nexus of Ma Anand Sheila, Willamette Weak, and Elizabeth Diane Downs syndrome.
One of Gus Van Zandt's early films starred a local hero who beat Ethiopian Mulegetta Seraw to death with a baseball bat.
The Portland police have routinely shot, choked, and stunned citizens to death for decades without having a single officer indicted for even the use of excessive force. They used to toss dead possums in front of barbecue joints run by black people in Northeast Portland. A joke I wrote many years ago, went like this: "What do the Portland pigs call a traffic stop in North Portland?"
Answer: "Target practice."
Currently the state is in the throes of a horrific comedy involving the disappearance of Kyron Horman, who comes from a long line of people who name their children with with K's, including daddy Kaine, who recently filed for divorce and got a restraining order against his red-headed wife Terri.
I assume the keep naming their kids K to keep from being called Klanners.
What is it about red-headed women that makes them so easy to file charges against?
Kaine allegedly heard that Terri had hired a landscaper and offered him a large sum of money to kill Kaine, if he was up to it, which I figure was a biblical allusion to whether he was able enough. At least, this was implied in a front-page story in the Sunday Oregonadian, a paper that not even oil-stained murres will use for litter.
The Sheriff refused to comment on the Oregonadian story, no doubt well aware of how infrequently that inflammatory rag gets anything right the second or third time even.
Let me ask you this. If you were looking for someone to off your husband, who was named Kaine, would you ask the gardener? Granted, there's the entire Genesis back story that might enter into play in a state filled to the brim with so many idiots...
For Christ's sake, people, the sanitation company is called Swatco. If you were to chose between Psalm One and Swatco when looking for a professional hitman, where you start your search?
Assuming you aren't an Oregonadian.