No telethon either, although it is a disease that afflicts nearly all Republicraps, many Demoblicunts, and everyone in the National Federation of Independent Libertarian Anarchists. Sarah Sirhan Palin should be the poster child for this disease, but her dumb ass is so terminal she probably would suffocate on fact-finding mission.
People sometimes ask me why I continue my campaign to rename the United States of America the Nation of Miserable Fucks (NOMF™), which incites many decades of conditioning from working in the private and public sectors and having to sign non-dsiclosure agreements to explain that the simplest explanation of a need to know policy is if you need to ask, you obviously don't need to know.
Really now. Are Americans so stupid that they are incapable of acknowledging how stupid they really are? How stupid is that? Not that stupid when you factor in how proud Americans are of striving to achieve a level of manageable mediocrity that borders on drooling ineptitude.
If God hadn't intended to turn America into the NOMF, why did He convince a population predestined to annihilate themselves that the most important thing in life is to have the freedom to choose between the worst health options available to citizens of ANY country on earth so long as they have the opportunity to think that continuing a system that denies coverage to 15% of the population while consuming 15% of the grossest domestic product (Americans love to kill and inflict pain on anyone they can; that's the American Way!) in the cosmos.
You know what it's going to take to get this country beyond Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich, Dick Armey, Rush Limbaugh, and all those other pathetic neocondi rice and beaners scumbags of liberty — I mean besides tracking them down and rounding them up and hanging them from light poles along the Interstate Highway system?
Giving all the people in the NOMF who don't have healthcare the opportunities to participate in a round of musical end of life chairs, where the 50 million uninsured potential patients in the most expensive and least effective health care system ever created and sanctioned by the master of TDA get the opportunity to compete for a single appointment at a homeopathic clinic that may not exist in a place so magical that no one has ever returned to describe it.
The entire event will be shown after American Idol with the 49,999,999 people who were not worthy of getting the appointment earning an opportunity to compete for $10 thousand in life insurance if they consent to turn themselves into pet food for the rich and famous.
The nation of miserable fucks deserves the greatest show on earth as long as it can decide who to watch and how much to charge.