In her recently released and already remaindered memoir, Making Money as a Deceitful and Unreliable Scoundrel, Repugnicant vice-presidential poopy-headed losing liar Sairhead Sirhan Palin denies giving birth to a child (Bambi) fathered by the former boyfriend of her daughter Bristol while revealing she is still a virgin, chosen by God to bear His children and lead the nation to The Rupture.
Palin spends most of the book complaining about having to wear clothes during the 2008 presidential campaign that she couldn’t afford, although critics couldn’t really determine whether it was the campaign or the clothes or having to fake poverty that she was complaining about.
The so-so Tina Fey impersonator who quit as governor of Alaska after a reporter asked her to shit or get off the pot clearly avoids any mention of Levi Johnston in her book to avoid angering the Playgirl model who has promised to “let it all hang out, if that dingbat bitch keeps bashing me. She’s absolutely batshit crazy. You ain't see tea-bagging until you seen my nut sack plopped on her fevered brow.”
Palin’s book contains 68 color photos, all of which have been Photoshopped to remove her horns. A consistent best seller on all the major Web sites, the book has been heavily discounted for several months. Despite a suggested retail price of 32.95, some eBay sellers are offering the book for $1 a ton with free shipping.
The book was reportedly written by literary rogues Michael Golden and Paul Fericano during a drunken tryst over the Martin Luther King holiday weekend earlier this year when both were channelling Paul Krassner and Terry Southern, only one of whom is dead. Palin apparently bought the manuscript sight unseen from an unscrupulous agent who represents the the ghost Idi Amin Dada, among others. This allowed Harper-Collins to move up its project release date of 1.5 billion copies from next spring to make it the perfect turkey stuffer for this holiday season.
More than 600 acres of Amazonian rain forest were harvested to print the book which environmentalist have condemned for using non-biodegradable inks and binders, making the pages unsuitable for use as mulch.
Palin says she became convinced John McCain, her alleged running mate, had decided to throw the election when he failed to asked her to sit on his face during the vetting process. "I always sit on the faces of friends and my allies," Palin writes in a section apparently removed before publication.
As the world's most famous typical American soccer mom prepares to run for the Repugnicant nomination in 2012, she seems determined to lose it before the mid-terms by blaming McCain for her own pathetic ineptitude. This is a women who could not outfox Katie Couric, for Christ's sake, and you can betcha your dumb ass that Christ's sake is one of those one of the sakes that does not contain alcohol and is not brewed by by Japs.