After more than a year of trying to get a comprehensive health care reform bill through a Demoblican controlled Congress, Senate Minority Wiener John Man-Tan Boehner (pronounced Bo-ner) told the Washington Press Whores today that "while [I} am pleased overall at the accomplishments of my party during the sometimes contentious debate to preserve the rights of those who own the country to choose to ignore the desperately incoherent arguments of those who would support abortion and deny care to their own grandmothers through the creation of end-of-life control boards, I must admit that my insignificant penis is most sullenly deflated by our inability to convince the majority who were mistakenly elected to enact a public option for health care, wherein those who own the country could have charged those who stink up the neighborhood for the damage they do by not having to the manor been born."
The liberal media was clearly caught off-guard by Boehner's comments with some suggesting it was an April's Fools joke, until Boehner produced a copy of the second amendment and a large caliber handgun with which he began merrily blasting away as reporters sought cover while continuing to take notes.