Oh, kind and gentle readers, I feel as if supreme victory is within our grasp and our imaginings shall be rewarded like manna with fatback gravy, if we just stay the course.
The Obamination continues to implode because the nation's first openly naturally tan president refuses to cede to reasonable demands by the super minority Republicraps that we scrap all the work already done by the wiener majority Demoblicunts and insists that his opponents openly present solutions that will reduce the cost of health care and extend benefits to millions of people who are not currently covered.
With all due respect, Mr. President, fuck your opponents. Those assholes couldn't present a new idea with both hands if you told them it was biting their asses.
Don't listen to your allies, either. They're all a bunch of whiners who are incapable of acknowledging the obvious decay all around them. Do you really think that improving the hopelessly ill-conceived health care system of the nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™) is going to get you reelected?
No, Mr. President. It's time for a bold new approach to our problems, a new and improved solution that starts by acknowledging the obvious and turns away from the failed poopadoodlistic policies of the past. Let our sick people go, Biraq.
That's right. Without sick people, insurance companies wouldn't have to spend billions of dollars every year paying private investigators to find reasons to deny their customers coverage for preexisting conditions. People wouldn't have preexisting conditions. Without preexisting conditions to worry about, insurance companies could focus on sexual orientation and adherence to acceptable family values, which require far less investigation before denying coverage.
Don't let the survivors of unhealthy drains on the economy take advantage of loopholes intended to protect the wealthiest people in this great nation — those who may eventually create jobs if it ever becomes cost effective — by declaring bankruptcy to avoid repaying the millions of dollars spent by hard-working taxpayers to keep their loved ones alive in the vegetative state that they refused to appreciate and then had the bad taste to cost us millions more by fighting end of life care. Damn them!
Don't let these terrorists win!
I think it's time that we bite the bullet and let nature run its course and rid us of the libertarians and MIchael Mooronics and people too fat to get out of bed to crawl to a drive-thru to order another Happy Meal.
Let's face it. These are the people responsible for the health care crisis. Let them go extinct over the next couple of decades as the oceans rise and drown off the old idiots who believe the rest of us should be compelled to support their craven lifestyles. Take New Orleans. Please. They just won a SuperBowl. What the fuck else do they want?
That's my advice to you, Mr. President. Let these people move on to the promised land of health maintenance organizations envisoned by heroes before you, like Richard M. Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and Adolph Hitler. I have a dream that one day all our little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin or economic status, but by whether they are healthy or not.
I am healthy and prepared to use the second amendment to maintain my healthy lifestyle. Why should I let easy targets clutter the landscape I pay so much to maintain without employing illegal aliens?
Do not let the sick and twisted win this debate, Mr. President. Be a champion of life and liberty, everlasting, as God intended, and do not succumb to the earthly pleasures of mass debation in the never-ending political campaign war that your predecessor so loved.
There is always martial law.