As I mentioned elsewhere today, it's time to start using ball-gags on Rush Hindenberg and the other douchebags who would be much more valuable to civil discourse if rendered as an alternative to bacon.
I've also liked Michael Moore's documentaries and TV ventures, because they skewer lunacy, idiocy, and self-serving horse exhaust wherever it can be found, and in the NOMF™, there's never been a need to really do any research. Open you eyes and take the ear buds out, and it's pretty obvious that Americans have been living on borrowed time and terrible clichés for at least half a century.
And although I will never forgive the fat douchebag for putting Codpiece Dubya in the White House with his incredible stupid Vote Nader meme, I think Flint Bear hit it right with this e-mail received this morning:
Congratulations President Obama on the Nobel Peace Prize -- Now Please Earn it!
Friday, October 9th, 2009
Dear President Obama,
How outstanding that you've been recognized today as a man of peace. Your swift, early pronouncements -- you will close Guantanamo, you will bring the troops home from Iraq, you want a nuclear weapon-free world, you admitted to the Iranians that we overthrew their democratically-elected president in 1953, you made that great speech to the Islamic world in Cairo, you've eliminated that useless term "The War on Terror," you've put an end to torture -- these have all made us and the rest of the world feel a bit more safe considering the disaster of the past eight years. In eight months you have done an about face and taken this country in a much more sane direction.
But...
The irony that you have been awarded this prize on the 2nd day of the ninth year of our War in Afghanistan is not lost on anyone. You are truly at a crossroads now. You can listen to the generals and expand the war (only to result in a far-too-predictable defeat) or you can declare Bush's Wars over, and bring all the troops home. Now. That's what a true man of peace would do.
There is nothing wrong with you doing what the last guy failed to do -- capture the man or men responsible for the mass murder of 3,000 people on 9/11. BUT YOU CANNOT DO THAT WITH TANKS AND TROOPS. You are pursuing a criminal, not an army. You do not use a stick of dynamite to get rid of a mouse.
The Taliban is another matter. That is a problem for the people of Afghanistan to resolve -- just as we did in 1776, the French did in 1789, the Cubans did in 1959, the Nicaraguans did in 1979 and the people of East Berlin did in 1989. One thing is certain through all revolutions by people who wish to be free -- they ultimately have to bring about that freedom themselves. Others can be supportive, but freedom can not be delivered from the front seat of someone else's Humvee.
You have to end our involvement in Afghanistan now. If you don't, you'll have no choice but to return the prize to Oslo.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com
P.S. Your opposition has spent the morning attacking you for bringing such good will to this country. Why do they hate America so much? I get the feeling that if you found the cure for cancer this afternoon they'd be denouncing you for destroying free enterprise because cancer centers would have to close. There are those who say you've done nothing yet to deserve this award. As far as I'm concerned, the very fact that you've offered to walk into the minefield of hate and try to undo the irreparable damage the last president did is not only appreciated by me and millions of others, it is also an act of true bravery. That's why you got the prize. The whole world is depending on the U.S. -- and you -- to literally save this planet. Let's not let them down.
It doesn't surprise me at all that the same ignorant bloviating douchebags of liberty (spawn of Robert Novak, no doubt) who yesterday were slamming the first nigra for not having solved domestic, economic, and foreign policy problems resulting from eight years of malignant and incompetent performance by a clusterfuck of dunces during his first nine months in office is today condemning the Nobel Prize committee for awarding him a global award for things that he couldn't possibly have accomplished in just nine months.
I wonder how former Vice-President in Hiding Insignificant Lon Dick Cheney is feeling today. Perhaps he's doing sphincter control exercises to help him cope as a bitch when the International War Crimes Tribunal rounds up him up and delivers him to a cell where Ahmed is looking for a little hot action.
The longer the liberal media promotes a culture war in a world that is increasingly understanding what a Pareto analysis looks like, the longer we will all be circling the toilet of poopadoodle discourse like wingless flies on a raft of soggy shit.
If you really don't want things to get better for anyone else, kill yourself at Sunday services and do the rational majority a favor. God will reward you for it. I'm not shitting you.