I get up and go to work to pay incredible prices for illegal drugs that I could get more cheaply if I moved to a country with socialized medicine where I would actually have some disposable income after paying taxes for the public good to contribute to charity and save the environment, not that I give a shit about the environment.
Instead, I live in the nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™), which was early on committed to forming a perfect union, but when that turned out having to pay the people who actually produce things a living wage, well, there you go again.
What did the environment ever do for me? Look at all the assholes and douchebags befouling the air and soil in the names of their gods. Do you think any of these assholes and douchebags would be able to walk around spewing their nonsense if the environment really had any balls?
I was reading Yahoo news today. I always read Yahoo, because I almost became a Swiftian scholar forty years ago. I appreciate the lunacy of post modern life — and by that I mean our joyous march toward extinction — and there is just something really special about the idea of Yahoos and Yahooligans having inherited the Earth, just as my old buddy Jonathan predicted a few hundred years ago, in a country so constipated it still can't give a shit about anything that matters.
Remember this: matter is simply the least interesting form of energy, even less interesting than your mother. Look in the mirror if you don't understand what Einstein was getting at. String theory? Horse exhaust.
I saw this headline today on Yahoo News: Church warns cell scientists not to play God. I immediately typed this and tweeted it to privates: Scientists tell Church not to play in the bungholes of little boys.
Today was global Post a Joke About Mohammed Mountain Man Day.
I just did.