Actually, that's bullshit. I was born with God's umbilical cord wrapped around my throat. I was a term plus two month shit-ass doomsayer sucked into the world by a morality I don't have much truck for even today, sixty-three years later. My thoughts now are that if someone had recognized my fetal rights and understood how adamant I was at not leaving the placental sac, 9/11 would never have happened. Your miserable fucking existence is all Dr. Bizzaro's fault.
I'm sure my mother hated me at least as much as I hated her. She wanted a doll to play with, and I wanted to remain unborn. I was having a great time fetaling around in the warm liquid of life. What kind of relationship can a mother and child forge in such a situation, especially when the dumb bitch is getting ready to spit out two more boys before finally gestating the girl she always dreamed of?
I don't like people. People suck worse than gravity.
In the old days, when I used to send out postcard bombs, I needed a network of post office boxes spread over a huge land mass to keep the law guessing where the fuck I was and what I was really doing. Sometimes I had twenty post office boxes in fifteen states so I could fuck with the pea-sized brain of the average retard in the NOMF™ by sending submissions of poetry and prose to put before an obviously illiterate audience for no reward.
Boy, was I a dope.
The Internet is so much cheaper and offers so many more opportunities to encourage idiots to do the kinds of things God put them on Earth to do. Hey, asshole, listen up! I'm talking to your pathetic loser sloppy pretend piece of ass.
So here we are, you and me, playing this game for no purpose and with no hope of ever understanding why we are playing it. Well, maybe you have some hope, but you're a hopeless asshole who means nothing to me. Maybe your ancestors can help.
I just heard on Fox News that the tsunami from the Chilean earthquake did not injure any of the Americans who were vacationing in Hawaii. Isn't that special?