I have been remiss again in my duties as a co-blogger at Internation Musings, where it is my job to explain to roughly 95% of the idiots on this planet why the less than 5% of which I am an integral part by an accident of birth are still number one. How can that be? Because there is no justice, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Everything that anyone in a position of authority says is horse exhaust.
I had fully intended to post every week on Tuesday, shortly after lunch, but I haven't worn a watch since the mid-sixties and all the electronic gadgets in the house are always blinking 12:00, and if it wasn't for Hans occasionally sending e-mails asking whether I'm dead yet, I probably wouldn't be writing this post.
That fact is, I am a citizen of a country that sits on the greatest reserves of stupidity anywhere on the planet. That is what makes American so great. It is what let's us call ourselves Americans, despite clear evidence on various mapping systems that the United States is simply a mediocre land mass in the Americas, which include such loser nations as Canada, Mexico, Panama, Colombia, Ecuador, Argentina, Peru, Brazil, Cuba, Haiti, El Salvador, and a bunch of other equally imaginary governments with less chance of challenging the arbitrary might of my nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™) than the ordinary house fly has of living to retirement age, at which time it would probably get universal health care.
I have only once ventured outside the territorial boundaries of my genocidal nation because I was driving to the end of the road in a place that was not likely to become collateral damage in the NOMF's never-ending battle to remain number 1. Unfortunately, I did actually encounter another person up there, a complete idiot, and I turned around a drove back to continue building my personal atomic bomb.
I'm not an atheist, by the way, despite the title of this post. I definitely believe there are many gods, and I hate them all. Whenever I confront a believer of one these impotent little wieners who demand obsequious reverence, I fart. It's the least I can do to express my sincere affection for the gods people invent to blame their miserable existences upon. I have actually been present when people were struck by lightning, and I never felt a twinge of guilt. They were believers. They earned it.
In the United States, people generally defer to the lunacy of Christian believers, because they are the best armed and most willing to use their weapons to prove their points, which mostly have to do with how big their penises are or how big they wish they were or to defend themselves against the derisive laugher of women who can buy marital aids that are generally more loving and attentive than their suitors and spouses.
I often hear that the reason for terrorism is that idiots in other countries hate our freedom, but I think it is more likely that they don't realize how fucking stupid Americans really are, and they think we have some secret that makes us so fucking rich and special and important.
Hey! Assholes! Americans are stupid and proud of it. They lucked into living in a country that has more ways of destroying people and property than all the rest of the world, and they really like using it. Is this the kind of country you want to become?
Do you really think that the idiots that occupy the land they stole from the native peoples they killed with infected blankets and environmental poisons would really let you have anything worth farming or building on even if you managed to overwhelm the 300 million dispshits that live here?
Wake up, people. Let this nation die. Don't engage with it. It is a toxic stew of the worst kind. Stupidity may exceed hydrogen as an element in the U.S., but its output is entropic. Get a life. Or toss one away. But move along please. This experiment failed more than 50 years ago.
We can't even agree that universal health care is something worth having. We'd rather die. Care to join us?