I just read that the Hawaiian House Judiciary Committee is considering a bill that permits government officials to ignore requests by birthers for proof that the nation of miserable fuck's first openly non-white president was born on an island that only incidentally became a state wholly owned by white Americans by virtue of allowing the fucking Japs to attack our naval forces stationed there nearly 70 years ago.
Granted that Republicans now have implied protected status under the endangered species act, but teabaggers and birthers and Schindlerists should be viewed as pests and potential spreaders of toxic inflammations that can easily be avoided by eliminating the vectors that transmit the toxins.
I understand the concerns of feeble-minded bureaucrats to continue to control costs in these tough economic times, but ignoring the carriers of a potentially lethal pathogen that can quickly spread beyond our borders and infect ordinary idiots around the globe is completely irresponsible.
I propose that all U.S. government agencies dispatch pest control units to the IP locations where requests for the birth certificate of Biraq Insane Osama originate and fumigate the hives, the sooner the better.
According to every report I've seen thus far, there are fewer than 20 e-mails a week requesting Biraq's birth certificate from the Aloha state. That works out to fewer than 4,000 malignantly ignorant pests being gassed in a year, assuming that each IP address represents a family of four. Would you miss any of these assholes? If so, send me your IP address to forward to the exterminators.
I'm sure that rational humans around the globe would accept such vector control as perfectly acceptable, considering that it only targets complete idiots, without regard for sex, race, creed, ethnicity, religion, hat size, or sexual orientation.
I request that my readers forward links to this post to such bastions of intelligent discourses as the Huffington Post, Move On, Craigslist, Littlebiggy, and Michael Moore. Your various gods will forgive you for it, and you'll feel so much better the next time you take a shit. Trust me. I know what you're doing.