Tomorrow, someone is going to report that Kyron Horman has been sighted in the Bahamas where he is a willing accomplice of the Barefoot Bandit and the Symbionese Liberation Drum and Bugle Corps.
Kyron's little sister Kiara, who yesterday was tearfully held up as the one person Terri Moulton Horman should "do the right thing" for and begin cooperating with the authorities to bring her big brother home, because she misses him so much, will be charged with aiding and abetting delinquent behavior in arranging to have Kyron sold into Internet slavery in exchange for a promise of two buckets of Red Vines from Costco.
The landscaper who tried to entrap Terri while wearing a wire in the company of an undercover law enforcement official into corroborating his unsubstantiated story that his expertise as a lawn care specialist led the notorious Red Squirrel to solicit his assistance in removing Kaine Horman from her garden will be accused of filing a false tip to the Kyron Horman Tip Line.
The Sheriff of Multnomah County will admit he was being somewhat bellicose in suggesting during a press conference that "everyone is a person of interest" in cases like these, which led to more than 25,000 people in the Portland metropolitan area disappearing over night. It happens all the time.
"I was maybe a little over the top there," Sheriff Simba Statin said, sobbing, as so many of the area authority figures have done since Kyron ditched his dystended family and ran off to escape Oregonadia — a family determined to hold as many press conferences as it takes to keep the story focused on Kyron and not the family.
This is business as usual in Oregon. Nobody here in a position of "responsibility" has worked his or her way far enough up the evolutionary ladder to understand what competence means.
Until you have someone who is competent, it gets hard to call any of these clowns incompetent. It makes them mad, and it makes the immoral liberal media even more stupid, vapid, and rapid. I get more objective reportage waiting in the check-out at Safeway.
The best we can hope for at this point is that during one of the innumerable self-promotional readings of statements by the obvious MCF menage of cop fuckers and suckers that someone will display some clear incontinence.
And some kid in the audience will say: "Look! They peed themselves like Lassie!"