The passion of the Beck apparently sparked revulsion in the hearts and minds of Christians and agnostics alike according to random imaginary surveys of churches, synagogues, mosques, marijuana clubs, gay baths, adult book stores, and coffee shops across the nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™).
Attendance was down sharply among Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Unitarian, Catholic, Lutheran, and Methodist congregations, while mosques enjoyed a sudden spike in interest with some of the more radical venues reporting hundreds of worshippers forced to bow to Mecca in nearby parking lots and picnic areas. Gay gathering places also reported throngs of curious identity-challenged former Christians who said that Glenn Beck's recent caterwauling led them to question their faith in the existence of God.
In related developments, Graceful Glenn and his Beckerwood disciples are disputing objective estimates that the crowd for Saturday's Restoring Honor for Nuremberg was between 69 and 96 thousand strong and not the 300,000 Beck had planned for during his permit application, the 500 thousand reported by Joe Scarborough, NBC News, the New York Times, and other suspected liberal media outlets, or the multitude of idiots that Michele Bachmann claimed "we're not going to let anyone get away with saying there were less than a million here today — because we were witnesses."
Meanwhile, no one can explain where Rush Limbaugh was during the rally, despite several reports that the fat man, the roller of big cigars, the corpulent one, was seen in a madrasah with a boy who reportedly resembled missing 7-year old Kyron Horman, who has become a cult figure for the religious right courted by Beck and his followers.
Dr. Laura Schlesinger is rumored to have declined an invitation to speak at the event alongside former Alaska Governor Sairhead Sirhan Palin because she was asked to sign a contract that she would not use nigger or retard to describe people in the audience. Although some reports from unnamed sources put the number of retards at the Restoring Honor rally as upwards for 40%, no one can remember seeing a nigger there.