"Wishful thinking that spending a minute on a problem to arrive at a solution is what has led American to the brink of collapse," General Won Hong Lo told the U.S. National Defense University recently when explaining why his nation is currently directing 80% of its spending toward infrastructure and domestic health initiatives.
"Although China's defense and military development has come a long way in recent years, a gaping gap between you and us remains, and I am happy of that. I do not intend for China to collapse because you are spending so much money to build weapons that only make people hate you," Lo said through a Chinese interpreter. He added, "China has better ways to beat the U.S. We already own you."
At a subsequent Pentagon news conference with Navy Adm. Mike Mullen, Lo chuckled at reporter's questions, saying that "I can tell you that China does not have the capability to challenge the United States militarily, so it is a waste of our resources to compete on a playing field owned and officiated by others," adding that China's wealth and infrastructure is growing while America is in decline because of its obsession with dominating the globe through brute force and keeping its people stupid, angry, and insanely will-armed.
When asked to comment on the budget crisis that currently threatens to turn America into default, Lo laughed heartily and noted that cutting military and prison industrial spending while getting out of the pants of ordinary citizens would "probably balance the budget and produce a surplus in a couple of months, but that ain't gonna happen, as you say. Americans love being stupid, and American politicians and business men count on that proud stupidity, which is why China will prevail through foreclosure."
Lo's remarks were met with shock by the liberal media who mumbled among itself about goddamn communists and terrorism. Said one prominent journalist who spoke only on condition of anonymity: "I was highly offended by his intelligence."