Dr. Faustroll Writes The Wrongs

Blogging promotion services suck almost as badly as search engine optimization and social networking. I'm not making generalities here. Generalities are more like this one: people suck and the more people you know the suckier you are. You want a merit badge?

I'm a dabbler and a sloppy perfectionist. As a non-believer and antitheist who suspects the universe is pointless and incomprehensible, I often amuse myself by lurking in theatre lobbies, government waiting rooms, and station houses listening to what ordinary people who believe in shit actually care about. For you it would probably be depressing. I always laugh my ass off. Usually inside. You can't be too careful when the right wingnuts are on the prowl.

I starting posting to the Internet in the mid-eighties when stupid people ran bulletin boards and forums on TBBS, WWIV, Bit Bucket, and other primitive UIs designed to keep the world on topic.

Keeping the world on topic, of course, is how the world got fucked up beyond all recognition to begin with and continues to maintain its redolent fubar implementations to keep us all screaming to kill someone else. Even the Jews, gypsies, socialists, homosexuals, transexuals, extraterrestrials, and communists didn't behave this badly. Why are the right wingnuts so afraid of death squads?

Sarah Sirhan Palin (no relation to Michael, although he did cheat at something involving horse chestnuts, vinegar, and extreme heat), calls them death panels and equates them to health care, but we all know she's just trying to deflect attention away from extraordinary rendition and fifty years of a failed and flailing war on drug users that routinely employs death squads with the explicit approval and dumb cunts like Sarah Sirhan Palin. There are no panels involved. People get orders, and they carry them out. THAT is the American Way, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, effete snobs and total assholes. If you don't like, get the fuck off my cloud, douchebag!

I have shit splattered everywhere across the virtual troglodyte dwellings of the virtual heroes of this virtual civilization that cannot stop itself from imploding because it is so proud, so ignorant, so committed, and so totally batshit inane. Jesus! I have just written copy for the next Join The Marines campaign! Somebody! Rip me off and kill more kids with my ideas! God loves you and will approve of your efforts in His name. Just steal it outright. Leaving it in context with a link would be counterproductive.

Just as I stopped keeping track of how many names I used to publish how many poems in preciously small press literary magazines in the seventies, I have no idea how many forums I have been banished from in the past decade, and I'm proud to have pissed off Google, Reddit, and Technorati enough that they've banned entire subnets based on their mindless anger and insignificant penis poofting because I mentioned their choice of fashion sucks.

I am slowly growing an audience of Homeland Security agents and other sorry ass scumbags who inspired Jules Pfeiffer to write Little Murders so many years ago that there may still have been genetic ancestors of dinosaurs getting napalmed to make the world safe for democracy in Southeast Asia at the time, but I digress. And I'm proud of it.

You dumb lifeless Holocaust Two! auditioners can work to stay on topic. I prefer life, which has no topic. It simply is. No order. No rules. Plenty of consequences. No justice. No recourse.

I am the zombie woof.

So, I accepted Today.com's offer to pay me a dollar a day to tote a virtual cotton bale, and then proved I was capable for working for money-grubbing dimwits for nothing, before finally managing to give them one too many insignificant penis references so they cut me off.

What that a Freudian circumcision?

I was just starting to build traffic to the Today site with posts about my insignificant penis, American idiots, second amendment body counts, and enticements for young women to sit on my face so I could suck on their pussies until their heads caved in, and there I was bootless and on the road again.

So I shifted my efforts to simply publishing on a daily basis and using EntreFart, a virtual rectal queef as it turns out, that now wants bloggers to pay EF to run ads on sites the EF has no stake in. Never has. Fuck them.

The EF assholes have put off their latest effort to get bloggers to bend over and accept virtual papal dispensation until October 5. I have spent all my available EF credits and will be leaving the system on October 5.

I'm sure some of you are wondering while I am calling this mongolian clusterfuck Entrefart and EF. I suggest you visit this site for a little rectal imaging on EF.

Which brings me finally to why I have removed my SPOTT widget, another of my dabbles into the world of virtual customer service. Although some of the ads SPOTT serves to my site are typically mundane, most have nothing to do with anything I write about, and I have yet to get a response to questions of how to keep from displaying the ad shown below, in particular, because she doesn't even have her lips open.

So I wrote this e-mail earlier and removed their cocksucking ad from Doctor Faustroll Writes the Wrongs, assuming they are not going to send someone over to clamp her lips around my insignificant penis upon demand.

I'm removing your widget from my site. Although I have nothing against pornography, I don't appreciate having it appear on my site for no payment.

I have tried repeatedly to stop this shit from appearing through your inane UI and have decided the easiest way to deal with your crap is to delete the fucking widget. Thanks for nothing, assholes.